The Human Magnet Syndrome
Book Endorsements & Reviews
The Human Magnet Syndrome: From Soulmate to Cellmate (2023)
Dr. Craig Malkin (upcoming)
Dr. George Simon (upcoming)
Robert Jackman (upcoming)
"If you’re seeking to understand why it’s so hard to break codependent patterns, this book is for you! The Human Magnet Syndrome is a wonderful, deep dive into the origins and struggles of codependency. In it, Rosenberg offers a wealth of information from his personal and clinical experience—and hope for the future with his Self-Love Recovery model."
—Sharon Martin, DSW, LCSW, is a psychotherapist and author of The CBT Workbook for Perfectionism and The Better Boundaries Workbook
The Human Magnet Syndrome: The Codependent Narcissist Trap (2018)
“Ross Rosenberg’s important work, ‘The Human Magnet Syndrome: Why We Love People Who Hurt Us,’ challenges us to continue looking at relationship dynamics to see how our experiences affected us and will continue to affect others. Join this forward-looking movement by reading a book that draws on the discoveries of the past, but adds more wisdom combined with effective answers. It’s both the next step in evolution and a revelation.
I recommend ‘The Human Magnet Syndrome’ to those who work in social services, education, chemical dependency or the counseling fields and to the people they touch. It’s time to wake up and this brilliant book sounds the alarm we need.”
—Melody Beattie is the author of 18 books, including best-selling Codependent No More and Language of Letting Go
"Why and how people select their intimate partners is a historical mystery. Even more mysterious is why, when the relationship fails, intimate partners select an almost identical partner and replay the same drama, especially when it involves emotional and physical abuse. In his first book on the subject, Ross illuminated the universal attractive force of lovers. In this second one, he opens the dark side of romantic attraction to the light of analysis and offers the tragic narcissist-codependent lovers a well-lighted path to understanding and healthy relating."
—Harville Hendrix, PhD, and Helen LaKelly Hunt, PhD, are authors of several New York Times best-selling books, including Getting the Love You Want and Receiving Love
"Ross Rosenberg's newest book will treat the reader to an invaluable body of knowledge and experience, one that thoughtfully expresses key conceptual and personal insights, along with a treasure trove of useful tools and tips. Ross generously contributes a well-crafted and relevant resource for healing from the aftermath of dealing with one of the most challenging personality types in relationships; demonstrating a means for transforming painful lifelong patterns into meaningfully healthy ones."
—Wendy T. Behary is the best-selling author of Disarming the Narcissist, founder and clinical director of the Cognitive Therapy Center, and a faculty member at the Cognitive Therapy Center and Schema Therapy Institute of New York.
"Thank goodness for Ross Rosenberg. In this new edition of his popular book, The Human Magnet Syndrome, he has identified a previously unnamed factor that makes a significant portion of the population vulnerable to entering potentially damaging relationships. Ross not only identifies and names The Human Magnet Syndrome, he also describes it in a personal, colorful, engaging way, sharing much of his own personal story to bring it to life.
A master of the metaphor, Ross not only redefines codependency, he also explains it in ways that are meaningful and useful to readers. Each chapter ends with insightful questions to help the reader think about him or herself, their child- hood and current life.
Ross does not blame narcissistic people or paint the codependent person as a victim. Instead, he describes the complicated "dance" between them, and explains that each needs the other for completeness. The first edition of The Human Magnet Syndrome has been in the waiting room of my psychotherapy practice for years. I can't wait to offer the new edition to my clients, friends and colleagues as a resource for understanding and healing.”
—Jonice Webb, PhD, is a licensed psychologist, blogger, and best-selling author of two books, Running on Empty No More: Transform your Relationships and Running on Empty: Overcome Your Childhood Emotional Neglect.
"Ross is a highly skilled psychotherapist who clearly understands the codependent and narcissistic dynamic. When I was first diagnosed with codependency, I was incredibly confused and all I wanted to understand was how my childhood had helped create the attraction I felt towards narcissistic others. The Human Magnet Syndrome was one of those pieces of work that helped my mind clearly comprehend how my childhood experiences had conditioned me to believe I was not enough and laid the groundwork for becoming a codependent person.
His latest piece of work is even more concise, informative, and comprehensive. If you are struggling with codependency and, like me, would like to understand how your past has created your current experiences, this book will be of great value to you. If you are a mental health professional who wishes to understand the clients you serve in a whole new way, this book will serve as a great resource. Congratulations, Ross, on your current labor of love.”
—Lisa A. Romano is a YouTube self-help sensation, Certified Life Coach, and best-selling author of six books, including the best-selling The Road Back to Me.
Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2023
The Human Magnet Syndrome / The Codependent Narcissist Trap is the best book I've read regarding Codependent Narcissist Dynamic.
Also, excellent reference for dating with eyes wide open instead of wasting years of earth time with the wrong potential mates and avoid people who are no good for us. Read it when it came out, listening to the audio today.
★★★★★ This book is changing my life!
Reviewed in the United States on October 28, 2022
I even have my therapist ordering a copy because she's so interested in learning more about it now. I'm so grateful that people like Ross are sharing this knowledge with the world and helping people on their healing journey. This book truly is such a gift!
★★★★★ Insightful and Difficult (in a good way)
Reviewed in the United States on September 11, 2022
It took me at least a week to get through each of these chapters, not because they were difficult language-wise, but because it brought up a lot of very sensitive topics for me personally. I was lucky to have had a group who was also reading this book at the time to confide my thoughts and feelings to, and overall quite liked this book for what it was able to do for me.
★★★★★ Read this book
Reviewed in the United States on January 17, 2021
This book changed my life in the best way. I never even considered myself a codependent until I read an article by Ross Rosenberg that article lead me here and now I finally feel as though I understand my life and the way forward. If you're even vaguely considering picking up this book. This is your sign. Do it you won't regret it.
★★★★★ Required Reading for Those Dealing with Narcissists or Borderlines
Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2020
This book might be a mass best seller if the media only focused on the mental health of the candidates and their effects on otherwise normal people. The book describes how some folks may be attracted to disordered personalities. When folks are exposed to narcissist's for a time they may experience PTSD. That requires professional help, understand of the anxiety generated by interactions with disordered people. This book is one of many that is a textbook about fixing yourself and understanding what happened to you in your relationships with people who are not well.
★★★★★ Very complete, comprehensive explanations
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2020
This has been some hefty reading, but so worth it for me. I’m glad I stayed with it. At times, I felt like I was slogging through a textbook, but then I realized that - of course! - for this material to be really valuable, it would need to be very complete and comprehensive. The author has done a professional job of presenting well researched information. I most certainly benefitted. In my case, I see several trauma-causing patterns (from my childhood) described and explained in ways I had never understood before. It made me realize that those patterns impacted me in ways that were not even in my conscious awareness, in many cases. Furthermore, the path forward, for how to work on overcoming the negative or trauma patterns that affected me, is carefully and completely outlined. I am so appreciative. Go into this book knowing that it is no quick or light read. I had to slow myself down, highlight many places, go back, read again, and all that, and I am so very glad I did, because this will continue to be a valuable resource for me. Thank you so much for all your hard work in producing such a useful book.
Kelly Lynn H.
★★★★★ Ross Rosenberg nails it with this book!
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2018
I highly recommend this book especially to anyone who has experienced childhood attachment trauma and/or narcissistic abuse and/or toxic relationships, and I also highly recommend it to those who have not experienced these things so you can understand the dynamics and how and why they exists, order to recognize it to protect yourself.
Ross Rosenberg is a licensed therapist who is an expert on these topics (and many others). In this book, he explains the origins of both Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Codependency or Self Love Deficit Disorder (as he has renamed the term). With his "Human Magnet Syndrome" theory, he explains how and why we attract and are attracted to, our romantic partners. He explains in a way that is easy to understand, why codependents attract narcissists and why narcissists attract codependents.
Consciously, we may know what we are attracted to in a mate, but buried deep in our subconscious, is an invisible force (that we are not even aware of) that was programmed into us as young children when we experienced childhood trauma, which pulls us toward/attracts us to a person with traits that complement our traits. We were conditioned as young children to be attracted to some people and not others. Subconsciously, we are recreating our childhood trauma in an attempt to heal it, and we are not even aware that is what we are doing.
All we know is there is intense, irresistible chemistry. Someone who is high on the narcissistic scale will strongly attract someone who is high on the codependent scale and someone who is high on the codependent scale will strongly attract someone who is high on the narcissistic scale. This is why we have explosive fire work chemistry with some people and not others. Narcissists will not attract narcissists and codependents will not attract
codependents - they actually repel each other, which is why there is no chemistry.
If you are on a healing journey and you are trying to recover from a toxic relationship, I not only highly recommend this book, but I also highly recommend you read any articles and books written by Ross Rosenberg that you can get your hands on, watch all his YouTube videos and go to any retreats he offers. This man is the REAL DEAL! He gets it! This is time and money well spent!
★★★★★ ...book has changed my view of relationships and how easily we are attracted to those who are ultimately not...
Reviewed in the United States on February 10, 2018
This book has changed my view of relationships and how easily we are attracted to those who are ultimately not our soulmate, but instead our woundmate. I would highly recommend it to those of you who have survived childhood trauma, and thus suffer from codependency or as Ross says, self-love deficit disorder (which I love!) This book will leave you with your mouth wide open, again and again, while experiencing what seemed to me like a million "aha" moments! I see Ross Rosenberg as a true humanitarian on this issue. Way to shine the spotlight on learning to LOVE ourselves first, Ross! Keep writing, making videos, speaking, training and teaching! You have a gift!