Pathological Narcissism & Narcissistic Abuse

According to a 2008 national epidemiologic study in the Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, slightly more than 6% of the total population qualifies for an NPD diagnosis. This includes 7.7% of men and 4.8% of women. As with other personality disorders, those with NPD are generally unaware of and oblivious to their psychological condition. These people are considered pathologically selfish, self-absorbed, grandiose, and egotistical. Motivated by a long-standing and insatiable desire for admiration, praise, and validation, their relationship partner is often worn down as there can never be enough compliments and affirmation to satisfy them.

NPDs honestly believe, and hold others accountable for, an exaggerated belief of their own importance, which is typically not based on reality or facts. They expect others to share their inflated and unrealistic appreciation of themselves. The narcissist’s grandiosity often results in viewing others as unequal competitors who are naturally inferior. They are consumed with their special, unique, and gifted status, which they consider imbalanced in the world in which they live. Due to their inflated sense of self-importance, they are prone to exaggerating their achievements and talents. They expect to be recognized as superior or exceptional, despite not having the requisite experience or contributions. Preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love, they believe they can only be understood by or should associate with, other exceptional people or institutions.

NPD can be further categorized into four subtypes: covert narcissism, productive narcissism, malignant narcissism, and addiction-induced narcissism.

Covert narcissists are masters of disguise—successful actors, humanitarians, politicians, clergy members, and even psychotherapists—who are beloved and appreciated, but are secretly selfish, calculating, controlling, angry, and vindictive. They create an illusion of selflessness while benefiting from their elevated status. Although they share basic traits with the overt narcissist—the need for attention, affirmation, approval, and recognition—they are stealthier about hiding their egocentric motives. Unlike the overt narcissist who parades their narcissism for all to see, the covert narcissist furtively hides their real intentions and identity. These narcissists are able to trick others into believing they are honest, altruistic, and emphatic. They are successful at pretending to be a more likable version of themselves, knowing if their true characters were uncovered, they could not maintain the respect, status, and prestige they so desperately desire.

Like overt and covert narcissists, productive narcissists are hypersensitive to criticism, exhibiting overcompetitive, grandiose, and pompous tendencies. As a direct result of being recognized and praised for their profound intellectual and creative accomplishments, they come close to fulfilling their elaborate ideals and fantasies. Their successes give them the opportunity to bypass the limitations that entangle many narcissists. They are completely consumed by their quest to make a difference. Their obsession to contribute is still a narcissistic process, as it is ultimately motivated by their tireless pursuit to convince themselves of their greatness

Because malignant narcissists are fundamentally insecure and paranoid in their relationships, they counter by maintaining total control over others. Once they have achieved control, they will do almost anything to maintain it, including rape, murder, and even genocide. As a direct result of their paranoid and psychopathic tendencies, they challenge, defy, and demean anyone who is either an authority figure or has the power to hurt them.

Examples of malignant narcissists include Adolph Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Muammar Gaddafi, and Saddam Hussein. Their cruel and harmful treatment of others is reinforced by their need to maintain power, domination, and a sense of superiority. Although they seem similar to psychopaths, they are different in that they can internalize right and wrong, form meaningful personal and social relationships, and rationalize their actions as a desire to advance society. They may be loyal in relationships, but because of their paranoia, may hurt or harm those who pledge loyalty to them.

People who are addicted to a drug or behavior often act in narcissistic and self-serving ways, just like someone with NPD. The difference between an addiction and NPD becomes apparent once the person has been detoxed and has had a few months of sobriety. This is when the addict’s RCV corresponds to their RO, and not their addiction. A person diagnosed with NPD and a harmful and aggressive addict have similar narcissistic tendencies. While the pathological narcissist’s narcissism reflects their underlying personality, the addict’s narcissism reflects their selfish desire to seek their drug of choice despite its potential damage to anyone else. If the recovering or sober addict maintains their narcissistic symptomatology, they likely have a co-occurring narcissistic personality disorder—having both NPD and an addiction.