The Observe Don't Absorb Technique© (ODA)

One of Ross Rosenberg’s creations that has made the world a better place.

"I learned long ago to never wrestle with pigs.
You'll get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it."
- George Benard Shaw

Thank you, Mr. Shaw, for inspiring Ross Rosenberg's Observe Don't Absorb Technique!


The Observe Don’t Absorb Technique (ODA) provides a potent defense strategy for victims of chronic Narcissistic Abuse. Such victims often suffer from Self-Love Deficit Disorder (codependency).” These self-love deficient individuals (SLDs) are systematically manipulated by one or more supposedly loving Pathologically Narcissists, who, over time, surgically removed their ability to protect themselves and to flee from the harm inflicted upon them. Over time, the SLD's defenses are systematically broken down for the purpose of rendering them powerless to escape the metaphorical invisible “electric fence” in which they are forever trapped, powerless, and hopeless.

Developed to empower and assist SLDs wanting to be released from their Self-Love Deficit Disorder while pursuing a life that is permeated with its opposite—Self-Love Abundance, Ross Rosenberg’s Self-Love Recovery Treatment Program, also known as, “The Codependency Cure™", educates and empowers recovering SLDs to overcome narcissistic abuse by understanding how they have been provoked to fight back/defend themselves, which predictably culminates in a painful and highly consequential defeat.


Unbeknownst to them, the victim SLD “wrestler”, they've been masterfully manipulated/provoked to either want to “win the match,” or punish the offending narcissists. As a result of being activated emotionally, they adopt the distorted thought patterns that make them believe they can easily defeat the narcissist. By believing they can win against the bully wrestler, they are set up to enter a battle that they have never won but think “this time” they will.

Once in the “wrestling ring”, the narcissistic provocateur gains “home field advantage” and predictably “wins the match.” This is the point when the SLD predictably falls victim to the never-ending cycle of “wrestling match” losses. In other words, they lose as soon as they want to win.

By learning to adopt ODA’s purposeful and mindful dissociation strategies, recovering SLDs are protected from their chronic instinct to fight. By neutralizing their instinct to fight, they can “win” every time, as their offensive strategy is one that their narcissistic “wrestler” has no capabilities of overcoming. Simply put, ODA shuts down the triggers or points of activation, so that they can peacefully observe the manipulation attempts, while pragmatically and strategically seeking other methods of “winning the wrestling matches.”


 Observe Don't Absorb Technique

For more information about Ross’s Self-Love Recovery Program, write us at or visit: Self-Love Recovery Institute.

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