HEALING PAIN: Why Leaving Hurts Before It Helps

In this article, Ross Rosenberg explains why people who escape dysfunctional relationships often suffer more after leaving, as the departure triggers "pathological loneliness"—a profound, trauma-rooted ache that makes an empty apartment feel more frightening than an emotionally suffocating home.

Using the metaphor of surgery, he reframes this suffering as "healing pain": just as no one wakes up in the recovery room feeling better than before the operation, post-departure agony is not evidence of a mistake but proof that the cure has begun.

He urges readers to expect the pain to build, peak, and eventually transform into the foundation of self-love—and to sustain themselves through daily practice with a simple written reminder: this is healing pain, and healing pain is good.