Codependency Personality Types
Written by Ross Ross Rosenberg, M.Ed., LCPC, CADC
Self-Love Recovery Institute – President/CEO
Psychotherapist, Educator, Author, Expert Witness
The creation of these codependency types helps people who normally are in denial about their codependency/SLDD to see themselves in a specific diagnostic “light.” It is impossible to heal codependency/SLDD if you don’t know what it is and how it manifests within you.
I wrote my Human Magnet Syndrome books to help people understand and identify their codependency/SLDD. For the purpose of healing and overcoming what was previously invisible and unknown to them.
Codependency or Self-Love Deficit Disorder (SLDD) is a problem of distribution of love, respect, and caring, within close, and/or romantic relationships. Codependents give the preponderance of love, respect, and caring (LRC), with the hopes of having it reciprocated. All codependents believe that their narcissistic partner will realize their mistakes and finally give them the LRC they want and need. It just never happens.
Below are the five codependency personality types:
Passive Codependents are more fearful and avoidant of conflict. They dissociate from their deeply private anger and resentment through a persona of admirable empathy, compassion, and generosity. They give in to the inequity of love, respect, and caring. Such sacrificing martyrs never escape their below-the-surface burning rage.
The attachment trauma experienced by the codependent taught them that there was no benefit in fighting back, or that doing so would result in worse consequences.
Active Codependents aggressively but futilely try to persuade, control, and manipulate narcissists into loving, respecting, and caring for them. They delusionally believe such constant surveillance and counter-aggression are justifiable and effective.
Active Codependents are often not intimidated or afraid of their narcissistic lover. As such, they rely on an aggressive and confrontational approach to both protect themselves and get what they need. Their controlling, antagonizing, and manipulative method is rarely effective. In fact, it often results in the pathological narcissist’s retaliation, which often harms the codependent even more.
Cerebral Codependents are the intellectual codependents. They devour education and “transformational” experiences to overcome narcissistic abuse. They believe that the more information they know, they will be able to solve the problem.
This form of dissociation will never resolve the trauma and core shame that is responsible for their suffering.
Oblivious Codependents live by the “ignorance is bliss” credo. It is an effective defense mechanism for keeping them comfortable. They not only ignore or deny their problems, but they compartmentalize and rationalize them.
By purposely dissociating from the real causes of their problems, and feigning blindness, these codependents uphold the delusional belief that what is not seen, is simply not there.
Codependency anorexia occurs when a codependent surrenders to their lifelong relationship pattern with pathological narcissists. The Anorexic Codependent often transitions to codependency anorexia when they hit bottom and can no longer bear the pain inflicted by their narcissist.
This form of codependency is a control measure to feel protected, but they starve themselves from normal emotional and sexual intimacy. Also, as soon as the no romance “diet” ends, their insatiable “hunger” for harmful narcissists will return.
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Ross Rosenberg M.Ed., LCPC, CADC, is Self-Love Recovery Institute’s CEO and primary contributor. His internationally recognized expertise includes pathological narcissism, narcissistic abuse, and attachment trauma. Ross’s “Codependency Cure™ Treatment Program provides innovative and results-oriented treatment.
His expert educational and inspirational seminars have earned him international acclaim, including his 23 million YouTube video views and 247K subscribers. In addition to being featured on national TV and radio, his “Human Magnet Syndrome” books sold over 155K copies and are published in 12 languages. Ross provides expert testimony/witness services.
For more information about Ross’s resources, seminars, and workshops, write us at firstname.lastname@example.org.